Joe's Blog

 

 Welcome to The Poem of the Week  Blog Page!

 

Hockey and Politics

By Tarzana Joe

 

Now that the Democratic prospect

Is a smorgasbord for worms

Perhaps I should acquaint you

With some good old hockey terms

 

Since Americans to hockey

Is like Ukrainians to Ramen

I’ll make a few comparisons

To things a bit more common

 

Hockey’s just like politics

Not for the tender-hearted 

A face off, when they drop the puck

Is how the game gets started

The whistle blows

Adrenaline flows

The clock begins its ticks

A face off is just like debate

Except you’re using sticks

 

May I digress?

I must confess

I love this game of skating

And I begin to show a grin just

Anticipating

I say with pride

My smile’s wide

And it, I’m sure, will widen

When I tune in that face off

Between our Sarah and

Joe Biden.

 

Icing

Icing’s when a desperate team

Tries to stop the pressure

Just like the Democrats new

Hey! Let’s drill for oil measure.

 

Offsides

Offsides is when a player

Precedes the puck into the zone.

As when on the application

For the nomination

Obama penciled in the While House number

As his business phone

 

Three goals

When the franchise player

Sets the crowd to roaring

With strength of will

And feats of skill

Consecutively scoring

Obama’s fine orations

Well we’ve all seen that trick

But Palin’s shocking, mocking, rocking

My friends, now that’s a hat trick.

 

 

A Pile of Promises by Tarzana Joe

 

I come to you with promises

In this season of the plague

Let’s get to some specifics

So it doesn’t seem so vague

 

No one will fall to sickness

And fewer still will die

He who promises is faithful

He who promises is “I”

 

No one will go to prison

No one will go to war

Everyone’s a winner as

We’ll outlaw keeping score

 

You all can go to Harvard

Unless you go to Yale

Where students will be graded on

The strictest sliding scale

(Unless, of course, you opt for

The rigors of pass/fail)

 

We’ll make the nighttimes brighter

Make sure every day is sunny

And we’ll never raise your taxes

Unless you’re making money

 

I promise hot air balloons and ovens

And I guess you all know why

How else could I deliver?

On this pie in the sky

 

No matter what your pay grade

The learning curve is steep

And now you’ve got so many

Promises to keep

With rhetoric that’s one mile high

And only one inch deep

Yankee Stadium, Farewell

By Tarzana Joe

 

Lest baseball fans forget

To fund “No! No! Nanette1”

The owner of the Red Sox

Made a deal he’d soon regret

 

Chalk it up to youth

But my friends, it’s just the truth

That deal laid the foundation

Of the ballpark built by Ruth

 

In the years that have come later

From “Bambino” to “The Gator”

No franchise on the planet

Had a record that was greater

 

No turf could ever hope

To have this ballpark’s scope

Hosting all contenders

From Max Schmeling to the Pope

 

And the measure of real fame

In this or any game

Is to step out on the field

And hear Bob Sheppard speak you name.

 

Now the All-Star game was great

Although it ended late

But it’s not the final chapter in

This story writ’ by fate.

 

For the angels in the hall

Who watch this game of ball

Are coming to the Bronx for

One more classic in the fall.

 

And the home team gets last licks

Why, it was built in to the bricks

And the Yanks will add one more

To that World Title 26

Poem for June 27, 2008

Gun Thoughts by Tarzana Joe

 

If I ever thought to get a gun

My inner voice would cry out

What do you want with a gun, TJ?

You’ld likely shoot your eye out.

 

Raised so far away from the NRA

That I never touched a rifle

Those semantic fights re: the Bill of Rights

Seemed an academic trifle

 

But in later life with a home and wife

I began to pay attention

To the need to care and the right to bear

And the framers’ true intention

 

I know despite good aims there are urban flames

And that firearms could fan them

But do we solve or at all evolve

If we merely try to ban them

 

Well I had my doubts due to all the shouts

But Scalia I could kiss ‘ya

Because you could sense the difference

Between a gang and a militia

 

Poem for June 20, 2008

You’ve often heard me sing this song

Everything you know is wrong

Those in darkness doused the light

Things you knew were wrong…are right

What goes up might not come down

And Vegas is a Temperance Town

 So now when oil prices soar

Let’s not drill for anymore

Pelosi and her merry band

Repealed supply, reformed demand

Sure, new refineries might be nice

But they might melt the polar ice

No matter what we must be fair

To terrorist and polar bear

Now soldiers entering fire fights

Must first shout out Miranda Rights

Opponents routed from their forts

Can take their case to higher courts

Those same courts that have opined

That marriages be redefined

 The eloquent Obama pleads

“To each according to his needs”

Echoing another’s screeds

And no one heeds, no one heeds

 O, where for art thou; where and whence

Have you gone, sweet common sense?

Poem of the Week for May 30, 2008

 Selling it

By Tarzana Joe

 I wasn’t there but I believe

That Leonidas lied

The Persians didn’t mean any harm

300 Spartans died

 Yes, Leonidas lied

300 Spartans died

 He sold the war to citizens with

Flummery and flake

And gullibly the Grecians

Thought their culture was at stake

 But clever Romans wouldn’t buy

What Caesars had to sell

“The Vandals are a peaceful group…”

 The Roman Empire fell.

 War is such a dreadful thing

That truly I am told

Everyone who goes to war

In someway must be sold 

He must be convinced his future

And his country are at stake

To understand the sacrifice

He might be called to make

 And those in charge must make the case

As they’ve been picked to lead

Use every means and every word

To illustrate the need.

 Disagree?  Then make your case

That’s what debate is for

You’ve got the edge

As there’s a lack of folks I know who want a war

 So next time you reach to get that Brand X from the shelf

Pick me up that modern myth, the war that sells itself.

 

 

Poem of the Week for May 23, 2008

 Fight on!

By Tarzana Joe

 “Fight on,” said the Trojans when their citadel was lost.

 “Fight on,” said the Hessians when the Delaware was crossed. 

“Fight on,” said the Germans when the Siegfried Line was burst. 

“Fight on,” says Ohio State every January 1st.

  “Fight on,” said the French… oh, no they didn’t.

 “Fight on,” said the Cubbies after Bartman snagged the ball.

 “Fight on,” said the Philistines after Samson decked the hall.

 “Fight on,” said old Custer, “Those arrows won’t hurt much.”

 “Fight on,” said James the Second…”Come on, it’s just the Dutch!”

 Fight on, Mrs. Clinton.  Fight on no matter what.

 In the words of the poet, “To that night, go gentle …not!”

 

 

 

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Revised: July 25, 2008.